Episode Fourteen: Video Series

Episode Thirteen: Video Series

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Episode Fourteen

Episode 14: In which no one will ever meet Pearl or Frankie's expectations. 


Pearl: I don't know maybe it's because I'm crushing on a certain celebrity, but I feel like either you're going to have to be that level of amazing or don't waste my time. And dont start with the whole I dont actually know him
Frankie: No, no, I agree - just don't become:

Pearl: Haha
Frankie: And I think that goes for both of us. As I've mentioned previously we are veering dangerously close to the two sisters who sit down and "have a nice little game of Yahtzee"
Pearl: No, no. We're too cool for that.
Frankie: You're right, we're more into charades. Nobody who's anybody plays Yahtzee anymore. 

Episode Thirteen

Lucky Episode Number 13: After a particularly exhausting conversation on the merits of one course of action versus another, Pearl laments Frankie's wisdom (or lack thereof).




Pearl: I wish you had my wisdom Frankie.
Frankie: Well I had my wisdom teeth out a couple of years ago, soooo.....
Pearl: Your logic is astounding.

Episode Twelve

Episode 12: Pearl and Frankie reminisce about late 90s pop staples when they should be studying hard. 

Frankie:   Frankie is watching the video for Next's 'Too Close' "I wonder if she can tell I'm hard, right now"

Pearl: Oh god... I think I've perfected the eye roll

Frankie: For realsies though, That's like my jam I love that song so much!

Pearl: That is such a good song to dance to while i'm cleaning and no one is home

Frankie: I'm dancing to it right now “makes me want you so baad sex-u-al-eeee"

Pearl: How does one block people from every mode of communication?

Frankie: .....

Pearl: ...hypothetically.

Frankie: ..... Anyway .... I'm going down a 90s pop music rabbit hole I'm not going to be able to get out of ... Frankie shows Pearl the video for S Club 7's 'S Club Party'

I'm not going to lie, I totally watched their show ALLL the time

Pearl: Haha I used to watch that, but, FRANKIE TIME TO STUDYYYYY NOWWWWW

Frankie: Okay, okay. Sorry

....

S...

Pearl: No.

Frankie: CLUUUUBBBB

Pearl: No. No.

Frankie: EESSSSSSS    CCCCLLLLLUUUUBBBB

Pearl: Put down the boxed wine and put on some pants and get to work!!!!!

Frankie: But Hannah's screaming out for more!

.......

.......

......

Yaaayy eeeehhhh yyeeeee ehhhh

Ooooaah OOOaah

Hoochi Mama show your na nas!

......

... ok this is more dirty than I remember it being when I was belting it out at age 11

extra special treat:

Episode 11

In which Pearl gets a case of machine rage and Frankie cures her with a fool proof ailment...her humour.


Pearl has been noticeably absent from her chat conversation with Frankie....Frankie sends frantic texts and e-mails.


Pearl: Hey, sorry I was just ranting to my mom about my laptop misfortunes.
Frankie: Seriously, what the hell?
Pearl: I cannot even express how loud the fan is. I won't have my laptop for reading week and I have to write two essays.
Frankie: What about those computers I saw at your place?
Pearl: The ones in my basement? Those are computers that my brother built from scratch.
Frankie: Well one of those could be a frankencomputer...You start writing your paper, you go to sleep and you wake up to find the paper written.
Pearl: Okay, I am laughing out loud inappropriately
Frankie: Think about it, the document reads, "I'm so lonely. What am I? AHH I just saw myself in the mirror! I'm a FREAK of nature!"
Pearl: Oh God I cannot stop laughing
Frankie: "Creator? Where are you? What is this about economics? What is economics? Is that me?"
Pearl: Well that took my frown and tickled it upside down.

Episode Ten

Episode 10: Pearl and Frankie discuss the likelihood of their survival in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. 


Pearl is watching Dawn of the Dead ...


Pearl:  This is some scary shit - and also product placement galore. During a zombie Apocalypse....DASANI WATER is best!
Frankie: You know it!.
Pearl: In this apocalypse scenario I think we'd be a good team. Mekhai and his team are hiding in a mall - I think if this was the situatio, we should hida in a Costco.
Frankie: Oh For Shiz! I totally want a Costco membership. I don't understand why my family doesn't have one ... actually yes I do: they hate obscene amounts of shit. But I LOVE IT!
Pearl: I don't understand why my parents HAVE one and we never go!
Frankie: Do you think you, Delia (Pearl's mom) and I could do a girls outing to COSTCO!? 
Pearl: ....
Frankie: We'd be "Going Loco, Down at the Costco!", or to put it another way: "Wake Me Up! Before you Go Go. Don't Go Without me down to the Costco"
Pearl: Okay for real though, I'm starting to think a mall might be more fun.
Frankie: Well, as long as you can easily break into the stores. But the food! It wouldn't last long.
Pearl: I know, I know but ...
Frankie:  See! THIS is why you would die first in a zombie apocalypse. You'd be all like "Frankie! Let's go to Marla's! Marla's, Marla's MARLAAAAAS!" and I'd be all like "Pearl - Beef Jerkey!"
Pearl:.... True. I'd be raiding the shoe stores and you'd be getting the (Dasani) water.
Frankie: You'd be all like "If I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die pretty." and I'd be all like "Okay, well, while you head to Holt Renfrew, I'm gonna go to Subway. Then I'm gonna hit up HMV - we'll meet back in front of Mmmuffins at a quarter past Zombie-Apocalypse-Imminent"
Pearl: ....
Frankie: Actually ... I think we'd be more like the guys from Shaun of the Dead.

Breaking: Violiflutes Name Change!

Indie, hipster, wanton, hopeless, vagrant, boomboxing poetic idols and musicians known as The Violiflutes have changed their name! Now The Violutes! Can you stand it?

they are so rock n' roll. but don't label them!

Episode Nine

Episode 9: Pearl and Frankie decide to enroll in music lessons for the violin and flute respectively, with some lofty goals...


Pearl: In the summer time I want to take violin lessons again.

Frankie: I want to take cooking lessons

Pearl: do it! I want you to take violin with me but we would be so unproductive

Frankie:: Well, I’ve never played violin before, I could take up the flute again and you could do violin

Pearl: i played violin in grade 7...

Frankie: And we could travel the globe as the Violiflute  playing hipsters

Pearl:: hahaah

Frankie: Pitchfork would hail us as the next great voice of the hipster masses ... we would release our first EP on our own record label ...

Pearl: final fantasy stylez

Frankie: Yeah only even more indie! We would change our names for each show in an effort to stick it to the man and expose the hipster establishment for what it truly is: a dirtier, more elitis version of the bubblegum pop masses! We would hold secret concerts at which sometimes we would play and sometimes we would recite bad poetry -

Pearl: and sometimes we'd send in a top 40 band for irony -

Frankie: and other times people would show up and see only our carboard cutouts!

Pearl: Muahahaha!

Frankie: And sometimes there would be nothing but a boombox that plays Men at Work’s Land Down Under over and over and over again!

Pearl: I’d  boombox - in Serbian!

Frankie: .......... you mean beatbox?

Pearl:: ....

Frankie: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Pearl:: moving on.

Frankie: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

Pearl:moving on!

Frankie: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Pearl: MOVING ON

Episode Eight

Episode 8: When there are just no words...

Frankie: ...
Pearl: ...
Frankie: ....!!
Pearl: ...?
Frankie: ..........?? + !! - 7 = !? ... !?
Pearl: >>>>> (curve ball)
Frankie:  <<<<<<<=====
Pearl: OH NO YOU DID-AHNT
Frankie: OH YES I DID

Episode Seven

Pearl & Frankie
Episode 7: Frankie is like, smart yo. 

Frankie: Frig. I've forgotten my Flickr login info - AGAIN.

Pearl: .... Darn.

{frankie opens her email}

Frankie: Okay, okay - clearly I know myself ... I just found an archived email that says: Frankie - DO NOT DELETE ME, with my info!

Pearl: lol.

Frankie: so uh, do you mind if I upload that photo I took of your legs?
Pearl: ....

----------

Frankie: Confession: I'm listening to Justin Berber.

Pearl: You mean Bieber?

Frankie: I mean Bieber - but Berber works just as well. He is infantile, no?

Pearl: ... yeah very pubescent but ...

Frankie: OH WAIT That's Gerber not Berber!